South Park Zone
South Park Season 9 - Episode 912 - Trapped in the Closet
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South Park - Trapped in the Closet is the 12th episode of the ninth season of the Comedy Central series South Park. It was originally broadcast on November 16, 2005. The plot of the episode centers on character Stan Marsh, as he joins Scientology in an attempt to find something "fun and free". After the discovery of his surprisingly high "thetan levels", he is recognized as the reincarnation of the founder of the church, L. Ron Hubbard. The title is a reference to the R. Kelly serialized song of the same name; a satirized version of R. Kelly appears in the episode.
"Trapped in the Closet" was nominated for an Emmy Award in July 2006, in the Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Animated Program (for Programming Less Than One Hour) category. The episode was featured among Comedy Central's list of "10 South Parks That Changed The World", spoofed by Conan O'Brien in the opening segment of the 58th Primetime Emmy Awards, and mentioned in the Scientology critique film The Bridge. TV Guide ranked the episode #17 on its list of "TV's Top 100 Episodes of All Time".
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(The complete plot for this South Park Episode)
When Stan doesn't go with the rest of his friends to play video games, attempting to save up money for a new bike, he runs across some Scientologists, who encourage him to take a free personality test. After answering a long questionnaire, Stan is informed that he is extremely depressed and therefore a perfect candidate for Scientology; they offer to help him out for $240.Stan, depressed at dinner, asks his parents for the money to go through auditing, telling his parents that he was depressed and didn't know it. Randy tells him to use his bike money if he wants the auditing so bad.
After he pays, Stan is taken into an auditing room, and an attendant named Michelle reads his "thetan levels" using an "E-meter". Stan has a high reading that shocks Michelle and the results are faxed to the Scientology headquarters in Los Angeles. There, the president of Scientology determines that, because his reading is so high, Stan must be a reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard, Scientology's founder and prophet. Later that night, a large group of Scientologists, including John Travolta, have gathered outside to celebrate Hubbard's "second coming".
The president of Scientology visits Stan's home, and tells his family the news. Randy sends Stan up to his room while he talks with the Scientology people. When Stan goes to his room, he encounters Tom Cruise, who asks him what he thought of his movies. Stan said he thought they were okay, but hints that he thinks the Napoleon Dynamite guy was a better actor. Cruise gets upset and locks himself in Stan's closet, resulting in the running joke of Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!" He refuses to come out, despite the attempts of Randy, Nicole Kidman, Travolta, and R. Kelly to persuade him to "come out of the closet"; Travolta and Kelly eventually go into the closet as well.
The head of Scientology tells Stan that he will tell him the secrets of Scientology. He then tells him the Xenu story, based directly on the actual Scientology Operating Thetan III document, (which is played out on the bottom of the screen with the words "This is what Scientologists Actually Believe"). The head of Scientology tells Stan that his job is to write new doctrine for the church, and when Stan tells him he did not know how to do it, the president tells Stan that Hubbard did not know either.
Stan begins writing and as he is writing the documents, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman pay Stan a visit at home. Kyle tries to talk to Stan about the truth of Hubbard, but Stan will not listen. After finishing it he shows his writings to the Scientology president, who approves of most of his work; but when Stan says, "to really be a church, they can't charge money to help", the president reveals to Stan that the church is in reality a money making scam. When Stan tries to read his documents to the followers outside, he can't do it, and proceeds to tell everyone that it is a big scam. This gets all the Scientologists angry with him, and the president tells him that he will sue Stan for saying that their religion is a scam. In the meantime, Cruise, Travolta and R. Kelly have come out of the closet, and Cruise tells Stan, "I'll sue you in England!" Stan proceeds to shout after them, "Go ahead! Sue me! I dare you!"
The episode ends with the credits listing only "John Smith" and "Jane Smith", a reference to Tom Cruise and the Church of Scientology's reputations for litigiousness.
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