Pinewood Derby

South Park Zone
South Park Season 13 - Episode 1306 - Pinewood Derby
Watch South Park - Pinewood Derby online

Randy steals a superconducting magnet and slips it into the back of Stan's pinewood derby car to ensure his son will win the annual state derby. Stan's car takes first place while reaching warp speed and shooting off into space, where it is discovered by an alien species. A spaceship soon lands in South Park. The pilot, an alien bank robber, demands that Stan and Randy build a new warp drive, but Randy refuses to tell the truth in order to avoid admitting he cheated in the derby. The bank robber is killed, and Randy convinces Earth's leaders to keep the alien's "space cash", which they divide among themselves. An Intergalactic Police ship arrives looking for the robber, but no one admits to seeing him or the money. Eventually, however, Stan admits he cheated in the pinewood derby and returns the trophy. The robber emerges from the officers' ship, revealing he faked his own death and is really the ambassador to new worlds. The people of Earth were being tested to determine whether they were worthy to join the intergalactic community. Having failed, the Earth is forever isolated from the rest of the universe as punishment.

South Park Spoiler Alert! (The complete plot for this South Park Episode)

Randy Marsh, determined to make sure his son Stan wins the annual statewide pinewood derby, slips an object into the back of the car to give it an advantage. Stan learns from a news report that the object is a superconducting magnet, stolen from the Large Hadron Collider by Randy disguised as Princess Leia. During the finals, Randy coaxes Stan to lie to the judges and say he used only the parts in the approved pinewood derby kit. Stan wins first place when his car reaches warp speed, shooting off the track and into space, where it is later found by an alien species. Soon after, a spaceship lands in South Park, but its pilot is a bank robber named "Baby Fark McGee-zax" who demands that Stan and Randy build him a new warp drive while holding the entire planet at gunpoint. Everyone believes Stan and his father can create the drive using only the approved pinewood derby kit. Stan tries to persuade Randy to tell the truth about the stolen magnet, but Randy refuses in order to avoid embarrassment. As the pair works on the warp drive, an Intergalactic Police ship approaches Earth; McGee-zax cloaks his ship and drags Stan out of sight as a hostage, leaving the townspeople to divert the officers' questions. The officers say that McGee-zax stole a large sum of space cash, but no one admits to seeing him, and the officers leave. Randy then provides a diversion for McGee-zax while Stan, at Randy's insistence, stabs him to death with a shank. McGee-zax's ship is found to contain the stolen space cash, but instead of returning it, Randy persuades everyone to divide it among themselves. Randy, in contact with all world leaders, buys other countries' silence by giving them a share. Four days later, the officers return to South Park. They now know that McGee-zax landed here and Randy tells them of his death, but everyone denies finding any space cash. Randy tries to keep other countries from spending the space cash since that might alert the Intergalactic Police; however, this fails when Mexico spends its money on 32 hospitals and 7 water parks, and China spends it on 48 soccer stadiums. Learning that Finland is about to divulge to the cops, Randy persuades the rest of the world to wipe Finland out in a nuclear missile attack. The Intergalactic Police pay a third visit to ask about the strike, but the South Park residents fake disbelief. By this time, Stan has had enough of the deception, so he tells the truth about cheating in the pinewood derby and returns his trophy; however, no one else on the planet comes clean about the space cash. McGee-zax emerges from the officers' ship, having only faked his death. He reveals that he is really Kevern Zaksor, ambassador to new world testing, and that the entire chain of events was a test to see if Earth was worthy of joining the intergalactic community. As punishment for failing, the Earth and the moon are isolated from the rest of the Universe (although it appears to have disappeared later on). The episode ends with Randy saying "Well, that sucks".